St Michaels  3 Def Northbridge 0
Saturday 24 July 2010 -  Naremburn Upper

Our day out at Naremburn began promisingly.  There were at least 5 players slowly emerging from their cars by about 12.40pm and Scott was quick to assure us that we had enough players as a few guys from the firsts were going to turn up early.  He then compounded the false sense of security by noting that Blake and Steve Smith were part of the contingent expected to be on the pitch at the start of the match.  As that information sank in, some did wonder whether we would be permitted to start the match with 8 or so players!

Then Steve did the unpredictable, turned up before kick off and was even in full kit and ready to go before the whistle, declaring that days like today are just meant for playing football.  Even Blake managed to find a carpark before kick off.

Serious starting words from Captain Goodman – "Ok fella's, do some stretching or whatever it is Stew Wewege usually gets us to do...." .  Then a reminder (does this sound familiar) – lets play football our way; don't take these guys lightly, they are on a winning streak; challenge for every 50/50 ball .......   Cue the second unpredictable event for the day – we listened!

So off we went, started well; good passing; every ball challenged; every man marked; good possession football.  Just not many chances at either end.

30 minutes in and momentum started to swing Northbridge's way – particularly when the ref decided that any form of tackle or challenge by the men in White and Green must by definition be a foul deserving of a free kick.  Hugshie's being the classic – free kick given just outside the box for essentially looking mean at the poor misunderstood waif of a right winger from Northbridge as they chased hard down the line together after a 50/50 ball.  Followed by another free kick (against Hughsie again I think) for his obvious lack of etiquette and disregard for the personal space of an opponent evidenced by standing too close behind said opponent and daring to challenge for the ball.

Northbridge are sadly not the robust manly club they once were, as a small amount of gentle criticism of the Northbridge ref was not well received.

Your correspondent was having a quiet chat with his opposite number just to confirm that we were not in fact playing tiddly winks (as if we were I was at the wrong ground) and clarifying whether it was still permissible to tackle in over 35's football.  At this point said referee (who clearly had the sort of acute hearing mostly only associated with a dog hearing food being put in his bowl half a mile away) got a case of the Ricks; petulantly blew his whistle; and came over to yours truly to explain that he was a player just like as and was trying hard .... Oh Please, get a therapist who cares!  And try not to interrupt private conversations, its terribly bad manners.

So after that brief bit of fun and excitement, on with the game.  Not much continued to eventuate from some really good possession football.  Shane (on loan from the 1's) was so bored that he decided to liven up the next set piece by allowing their No. 19 a free header on goal from a looping corner.  It missed ..................just!  Fortunately it was one of those days for their No. 19 who on my count deserved to score at least 2 and possibly 3 goals (but more of that later).

Momentum swinging back our way and half time approaching, Northbridge decided that with the ref in therapy they were invincible and could tackle with impunity, so down came Hughsie caught from behind'ish in a robust tackle, that for the most part we would just say was part of playing football.  But no, therapy ref decided he better blow it up and give us the fee kick.  Then disaster, the video replay (S Wewege) showed that the tackle had been committed in the box.  Penalty!  (and 3 points to S Wewege in the man of the match comp for an exemplary performance as linesman).

Up stepped Bowd P.  Clearly thinking that whilst Middleton isn't here, he will read the report, so I will show him how to take a penalty.

Of course in the Bowd P book of penalty taking, this is best achieved by drilling the ball straight at the unsuspecting keeper then following thru like a diesel tractor in first gear when the ball bounces back off the keeper and putting it safely away at the second attempt. 

One Nil to the good guys and half time called.

Not much to say at half time apart from – OK lets try shutting up now and not revving up therapy ref any further as he will be looking for a chance to even it up; and they will come out firing so lets weather the storm for the first ten minutes.

So on to the second half and to the day's third unpredictable event.  We did exactly that!

What is more we really started to play good calm, controlled thoughtful football.  The ball controlled at the back; crisp passing to midfield; lovely switches in play; sensible options taken and we looked threatening ( but not of course in the Hughsie he looked at me with a mean face type way because we were now being NICE to therapy ref!).

That pressure turned into a cracking goal.  Ball from the back to Blake; Blake to Bowdy; Bowdy up the line to S Smith (I think); ball inside to Blake; ball across the face to someone else and then .................... R_O_H_I_T.  Or to quote the Spanish world cup commentator –

yadayadayadayada yadayadayadayada yadayadayadayada Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal R_O_H_I_T Goooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal

After that Northbridge had cracked, but they pressed hard for a comeback goal and even with some impressive man marking across the park, particularly by the back four under General Baker, some long range raids were launched by the boys in red and white pyjamas and at least two cracking, twisting, spiralling, just plain nasty jabulani type shots on goal resulted – at least one from the boot of their No. 19. 

However as noted above it wasn't to be No. 19's day as Master Sayle, fresh from trying to sell his offspring in the markets of Istanbul, was back!  and was he back! – both plain nasty shots on goal dealt with by the Master with fingertip control (that is to say, he somehow got a fingertip to each of them and nudged it wide) and the day was all but won.

As most of the backline didn't sub off all game and were man marking all over the park, the last goal is a bit vague in the memory of this correspondent, but with the wonders of modern technology (email), we cross to the specialist sideline commentary of Captn Goodman:

Good build up led to a corner, which Blake took – it was cleared off the line back to Blake –Blake ran it back in – they all stood there expecting the offside,  and screaming Blake was offside which he wasn’t because they had 2 blokes on the posts still. Despite Steve and I – unmarked 12 yards out – screaming for it Blake tried to blast it through the defence – the rebound came to Steve who calmly chipped it into the top of the net

Game over really at that point.

We ran all day, we played good patient football, we challenged for every ball, we had better haircuts and nicer uniforms.  We deserved to win and we did!

Washed down nicely with a choice of Asahi Super Dry and Coopers Pale Ale (and some cascade light girly beer just in case).

Peter S