STM Reserves 5 Lindfield 0
Barra Brui – 10 April 2010
Goal scorers:
Scott G 1, Jock K 1, Matt M 1
Shane H 1, Own Goal 1
There can only be ONE
Prologue
They came from all walks of life and trained by the best there is. Their coming together was purely by chance. They had been together for almost 4 years now, their battle drawn facial lines visible on some while the rest hid the scars within.
The team, known to many as the Reserves, were readying themselves for the beginning of yet another battle - a battle that would last months!! They were the A team, superbly disguised by the other team that referred to themselves as the A's - the ruse almost always worked.
They were led by a Good Man.....known to many simply as the Steroid Guy. SG, the chosen one, was guided by The Godfather himself, the Dom, who would call the shots from the back line. This year would not be any different - perhaps tougher - they all knew it. Years of battle had left them scarred, yet, and yet they were ready.
The battle lines were drawn. The light banter, perhaps a sign of nervousness to the bystander observer ears, was clearly a sign of excitement. The camaraderie was undeniable, the closeness unnerving. It was only them that knew that they were ready........yet another mission called...yet another gathering of the troops....will they repeat their successes of years bygone?
The notable absences this year were, umm notable - Wayne I don't have any muscles left to tear Sandy's humour and Bish's sheer aggression on and in particular, off the battle field would surely make this year's mission a tough one....
Round 1 – the gathering
Mine Hughes, a man of a few words, did a fantastic job in successfully regrouping the victorious Reserves from the previous year, apart of course from the notable absences.
They all came, one by one – the camaraderie re-established after months of pretend day jobs. There had been some marked changes over these lost months –
Blakey Blake had lost more hair, apparently surgically removed on purpose to ensure sufficient friction on impact from that round ball.
Rolly Hilly had not lost any of his fine rolling skills, casually yet masterfully, rolling them ciggies as the others psyched themselves up for the looming first battle.
The Dom’s voice had finally broken and had now had that rough Godfatherly tone.
Stewy walked around carrying with him the added weight of a few more bandages – the most recent bandage as a result from sitting for far too long and enjoying one too many coffee’s at a local hang out called La Provence.
The Steroid Guy (SG) was surprisingly buoyant and did not show any signs of wear and tear from years of use and abuse.
R-o-h-i-t announced that he had 6 new hair follicles over these lost months – at the expense of much needed battle fitness!!
Marc B had not changed much however – not a hair out of place – but he knew that he would have to leave early to ensure that that head full of hair was restored to its glory immediately after. He could not risk the full battle – not after having spent considerable time getting to this Nirvana. Everyone knew, everyone understood – that is what camaraderie is all about afterall…….
Each and every one of them knew that this battle would have to be fought without some of their fellow comrades, some missing in action, some in action but elsewhere, some requiring further training chasing chickens on a farm far, far away………….
“Shhiine would have to step up” mused SG. This would be Shane’s one and only chance to shine and to prove that he too could be one of the Reserves’ lads – “I could get promoted from the A’s if I play my cards right” thought Shane. What big shoes to fill though, they all knew. He would be filling in for Smithereens Smithey, who was unfortunately called away to attend to an extremely personal matter – all the comrades spared a thought for Smithereens ……..
Stewy took the team through the usual pre-battle drill. This time around though, he had a master stroke up his sleeve – he asked everyone to “calibrate” – and everyone calibrated……..
The battle was about to commence - the words of the world’s greatest motivational speaker, George W Bush, ringing in their ears,
| "And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us….. It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way” |
The Battle begins
The first battle was against the United Nations – a team that came back from behind and made it EVEN the last time they battled - the bitter taste of disappointment from the previous encounter still fresh in their minds…… And so it all began…
The first five minutes told the story….….the understanding between the players was thrilling to watch – it was almost as if they were reading each others minds and knew precisely where the ball was to be kicked. Blakey Blake, Mine Hughes and Shane were all over the UN battlers.
Blabkey was causing their defence much misery through his runs along the left flank of the battle field. It wasn’t long before the Reserves scored their first goal with Mattty Matt, selflessly (and rather surprisingly) passing the ball across the goal to SG who just trickled the ball past the desperate goal keeper.
There were at least another 5 chances to double the score line before one of the UN defenders did a Sandy – scored an own goal!! There would have been a match fixing scandal and calls for immediate enquiry had he been a Pakistani or a Saouuth ArfR’ikan. It has to be noted however that this battle took place on the Boer Land and the perpetrator could well have been a Saouuth ArfR’ikan and part of the notorious Hansie Clan.
Two up and 20 minutes to go…
The unthinkable happened then – the Jockster SCORED A GOAL – the ball ricocheted past the stretching arms of the UN goalkeeper on to the Jockster’s feet and he, calmly, as if a man who makes a living out of scoring (goals that is), gently nudged the ball towards the back of the nets.
Marc B, with his head full of hair, Rollie Hilly, the Dom and Greggy kept the UN attackers at bay through out the first 45 minutes with Sayley doing his bit as and when called upon.
The second 45 minutes started just as the previous one finished – the Reserves were all over the UN and the lead was extended by some cleaver theatrics and ball skills by Matty – Matty’s tally 1 and counting…..
The heat of the early afternoon sun was piercing and it wasn’t long before it started taking its toll on the battlers from both sides…r-o-h-i-t was heard literally begging Blakey to replace him on the battlefield and yet despite the “look out for each other at all times” mantra, Blakey had to decline to give his now exposed scalp a rest from the searing heat of the sun.
Despite the heat, despite the tired and fatigued bodies from the exertion, the Reserves kept going – the only blemish perhaps a throw in from The Dom to Sayley with a clear and precise military instruction, in his now newly acquired Godfatherly voice, to pick the ball up. Sayley would not dare disobey the Godfather…..
Shane did enough to perhaps warrant a promotion and scored the last Reserves’ goal making it 5 Reserves to Nil, zero, nada UN!!
The KIRIN and HOEGARDEN went down really well – ah the spoils of victory……
There can only be ONE……………………..
Rohit